Editor’s Note: An example of resilience at its best.
I did not match the first time I applied for orthopaedic residency. My original career was as an allied health professional which made me older than my medical school peers. In addition, the chairman where I did my medical school orthopaedic rotation, felt that “women don’t belong in orthopaedics.” He refused to write me (or any woman) a recommendation letter. Hence, the strength of my competitiveness was weakened.
During my first career, I had the privilege of working on some research efforts with one of the pioneering women in orthopaedic surgery. She once asked me “What are you doing here?” I asked what she meant by that? She said “You should either go to medical school or go get your PhD……Go to medical school if you like people and if you don’t, get your PhD.” I was inspired by her impression that I was smart enough to follow in her footsteps. Despite this, I failed to ask her to write a letter to support my application for orthopaedic residencies. Later, when she found out that I had failed to match, she was upset with me for not making the request.
Thus, my second time around, I had her endorsement. I was offered a residency position in a program that selected outside of The Match. They told me that they had to meet the applicant that this esteemed doctor would write such great things about in her letter of recommendation. My decision was easy, accept the sure opportunity rather than gamble again on The Match.
My residency gave me great training and friends for life, but it also came with a very challenging and biased Chairman. Today we would use the words “bully, microaggression etc” to describe him and what he perpetrated. On our first day in the program, the chairman told me and my two co-residents “one of you won’t be here by the end of next year. I have no qualms about firing residents.” This was psychological warfare as we had all not matched the first time around. Every year someone had a target on their back, and I was no exception. For four years I was in fear of losing my residency. The program had trained one other woman fifteen years before, I was the second. He made it clear that having a family would be grounds for dismissal as well.
Another related experience my first day as a PGY2. As I walked into the surgeon’s lounge, I saw two individuals wearing farm implement company hats sitting at a table. One of them said, “I can’t believe they took another goddamned woman into the program.” This was said by the person I was scheduled to assist in surgery that day, the other person was a neurosurgeon. I stepped forward to introduce myself and the orthopod asked how long I had been standing there. I answered, “Long enough, Sir.” He responded, “Then you know how I feel.”
As time passed and I proved myself worthy, he and I forged a working relationship and were even able to kid around with each other. His daughter declared she wanted to become an allied health professional and I was able to give her useful advice. We found our way to a healthy relationship; I considered this a triumph.
One of my other vulnerabilities was that I did not do as well as my Chairman would have liked on the Orthopaedic In-Training Examinations. I understood the material but could not translate that knowledge into answering test questions correctly. Based on my score one year, the chairman put me on probation. Amazingly, the other attendings in the department came to my rescue and built a wall around me. They knew from working with me that I knew the material. To prove this to my chairman they gave me oral quizzes showing that I knew the answers. Based on this evidence they encouraged the chairman to send me to a course on test taking which he did. Some of these same attendings were very biased individuals yet they helped me through this difficult period and even stood up for me. In other words, they did the right thing, another triumph. I passed my boards 26 years ago. These people have been friends for life and have watched the trajectory of my career with pride.
After my notorious orthopaedic residency program chairman retired, one of my former attendings was hired into this position. He was always very supportive of me during and after residency. Sixteen years into my career he invited me back to speak at graduation as a named professorship. Five of my co-residents traveled back from all over the country to attend the festivities; a loop joyously closed.
I am fortunate enough at this point in my career to be in a position to elevate others. I try to make sure that residents and faculty are treated with respect and that people are given the tools that they need to succeed. I learned what not to do from my former chair, but more importantly what the right thing to do is from countless attendings and mentors along the way.
What did I learn from these experiences?
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Ask for help when you need it. People want to help.
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Be sure you have the same information others do, know how the game is played.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
Here is my advice to my younger self:
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Prioritize time differently. Be good to yourself. This helps prevent burnout.
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Enter the leadership pathway sooner. Imposter Syndrome can get in the way and inhibit forward and upward progress. “Everyone is fakin’ it until they make it.” This is true for men and women both. Women develop emotional intelligence and competence earlier in their careers. Keep that in mind.
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Take advantage of every opportunity. If there isn’t one, create it!