Editor’s Note: A painful account of an attending surgeon’s betrayal of his responsibility to a resident and his vindictive attempt to derail her career. The effects of this sort of abuse are long-lasting and can undermine the framework for a satisfying career.
“While on call as a resident on a holiday weekend, I was called “combative” and a “twatt” (vulgar term for a vagina or insulting term meaning a weak or contemptible individual) over the phone by one of my attendings. I was trying to convince him to do what was best for a patient under his care who had a serious complication. He disagreed with my opinion and delivered the abuse to get me to back off. I was less upset about his tirade than what he was doing to the involved patient.
I told one close friend about this experience, and he understood about this attending’s tendency to be abusive. I then rotated off the service and went on vacation.
When I returned, I was approached by several attendings who had heard the story and encouraged me to report their abusive colleague. This placed me in a difficult situation because, the attending and I were “family friends.” Our kids attended the same school and were friendly. I saw him the next day at a school-based holiday event. He acted like nothing had happened. I said little and my husband held his tongue as well.
I was implored by multiple department faculty members and other residents to make a report since this individual had been abusive to many other staff members at various levels. He was known to be vindictive and had several complaints made against him to the Human Resources Department.
It was not my style to complain but eventually I relented and sent a two-sentence email to the program director describing the interaction. The attending in question was first placed on probation and then was fired for a number of reasons including the incident with me.
The day after his firing, he sued me for 25 million dollars citing defamation of character! I was served with the court papers filed against me by the local sheriff while at the hospital in front of a large group of people.
His malicious lawyer wanted access to my personal devices such as cell phone and computer. He also “gagged” me from speaking about the case. The surgeon’s wife, who also was a medical professional at the hospital, sent me a series of threatening texts.
Thankfully, I was a state employee and was provided with representation. Despite this, I was isolated and placed “on an island” since I was not allowed to speak about the details of the case against me. I did not want to feel like a victim but feared that those around me thought that I was a “tattler” and might “narc” on them. Since the incident occurred over the phone, it came down to a “he said, she said” situation and was very ugly.
The faculty who had encouraged me to report tried to protect me but had no ability to take down the walls that had been erected around me.
This case dragged on for four years. The first six months were the worst. I was pulled out of clinic periodically to give a deposition, etc. All I wanted was to be an orthopaedic resident and do my job. This case and the downstream effects derailed any joy experienced during my residency.
Finally, the case was dropped. The surgeon and his wife got a divorce. Amazingly, she made a public contribution to a foundation that supported our residency. The contribution was for “assistance to domestic violence survivors”. It would seem that he was a very angry human being, and his anger surfaced at work and probably also at home.
Looking back, I think my attendings now would have chosen to handle the situation differently. They were trying to protect me but, in the end, isolated me which was not their intention. Thankfully, I am now able to go back to attend residency reunions and not feel like an outsider. Some joy has been resurrected!
Knowing what I know now, I also would have acted differently. I would not have reported him. Although there were many advocates, none of them were able to help and support me after I made the official report. I have been told that “I did the world a favor” by making the report which led in part to his firing. Despite this, I took the hit and have a permanent stain on the memory of my residency despite “doing the right thing.”
I was always “one of the boys” in my life meaning I blended in harmoniously. In my residency program, there were no female faculty members with whom I could discuss this gender-based abuse. I previously thought of those who trained me as paternal and fostering. We were their children in some respects. This experience changed that.
The repercussions of this are that I no longer trust that the individuals I am involved with have my best interests in mind. Most are self-interested and may promote ideas about the merits of self-sacrifice and benevolent actions but are not there to support you once you take the courageous step forward.
I also am challenged to not give him “the power” to continue to make me miserable. I must respect myself for my actions and harvest some satisfaction that the vindictive case against me was dropped because of lack of merit. This impacted a long period, and it takes active work on my part to move beyond it. The experience has changed how I treat my trainees. I am now more “bullish” as I advocate for the residents and do not want them to experience abuse and undermining of their confidence as they move forward in their training and careers.